I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
