12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
