Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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