This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
