Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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