i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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