farters have to be the big spoon...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize