My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
