i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize