yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
