Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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