Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
