Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
