perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
