ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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