just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
