At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize