But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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