I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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