me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
