I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
