I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
