i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
