good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
