operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
