So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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