Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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