I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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