there's paper in my vomit.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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