So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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