Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
