He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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