I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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