Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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