my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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