After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm both gender and math confused
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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