Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize