Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
