i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
