I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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