GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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