I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
