I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
