im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
