So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
