Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
