they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
