Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
