just tell him i said nine months
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
