i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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