dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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