The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
