If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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