I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
