drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
be right there i have to get my cape
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Panties = found
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize