When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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