I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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