What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think my mom watched the whole time
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think I just sharted jello shots
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