the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
