remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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