chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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