HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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