I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
