Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
