Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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