Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
