when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I just sharted jello shots
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
