Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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