Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
