so explain again why im purple
no
id be glad to
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
