3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
