bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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