Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
