I am midnight drunk by noon
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
