your parents love me but you hate me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
