I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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