you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
