I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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