I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
