Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
