i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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