Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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