hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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