Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
