let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
