dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
