So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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