im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize